Posted in all the feelings, lack of sunshine.. by Val on April 15, 2014

When I catch myself reminiscing about the last couple of years, I have to remind myself that not all parts of it were as rosy as I remembered. For some reason I only seem to remember the sunny-fun-happy moments and have to catch a breath because I get an actual sharp pain in my chest…or the middle of my face. Yeah my body reacts weirdly to feelings.

Keep reminding myself that reliving said happy moments is not helpful…or healing or whatever.

Playing Coldplay’s Magic song non-stop since I heard it on a mini-movie my sister did for her geography class. Si that movie impressed me highly! Anyhu I love this song, even though I don’t agree with these lyrics,

“And if you were to ask me
After all that we’ve been through
Still believe in magic
Oh yes I do
Oh yes I do
Yes I do
Oh yes I do
Of course I do”

I’ve lost my belief in magic….


Posted in Uncategorized by Val on March 13, 2014

When life is headed south, its kinda hard to remember why you should be grateful…but today I am.

When you realize how much people give of themselves to you..sometimes without even being asked. Its awesome. Those who find you awesome when you feel you are not, and keep reminding you to look for the sun behind the clouds. They rock!


  • Just a little bit- Destra Garcia (SOCA mixes have been on my playlist today.)
  • Lookin’ out for me- Kirk Franklin ft Willie Neal Johnson

God has not forgot

Posted in Uncategorized by Val on March 10, 2014

I love this song by Tonex…especially towards the end when he starts scream-singing “The devil is a liaaaarrrrr!!!!”….I scream-sing right along!

Moving on…I resisted jumping back on the merry-mosttimesnotsomerry-merry-go-round. Yayy me! It would have been fun in the short term…but the long term effects suck..and linger…and make one talk to oneself at the icecream and cheese sections of the supermarket because feelings.

Slow progress is still progress. FACT!

One funny yet almost tear inducing conversation with my mother made me realise yet another of the things that I want in my life. It may be small, but it made me feel so good… I need a bit of sweetness in my life..


  • Disclosure ft Mary J. Blige – F for you
  • Disclosure ft Sam Smith- Latch
  • Disclosure ft Sasha Keable- Voices

(I discovered Disclosure one fruitful morning and have been playing them non-stop. Love!!)



3 steps forward, 2.5 steps back….

Things that help:

  • Watching Trevor Noah- “It’s my culture” is so hilarious! I had to watch it in installments because I kept snorting and choking and tearing up during dinner. Watching him live is on the bucket list!!
  • Volunteering- It is saving my sanity…plus I work near the most hilarious and warm hearted group of people. From witches to juju to “mouth agape” dreams.


  • Just a cloud away- Pharell (all the feelings)
  • Move back- Stylo G
  • Love is just a dream- DJ Kent ft Kyla

Posted in Uncategorized by Val on February 14, 2014

Its so funny (in an unfunny way) how a simple question still has the power to annoy and hurt…

Just got off the phone with my cousin who is a numerary. Sometimes I envy her…she doesn’t have to play the game, keep dusting herself up, throwing herself back there when she thinks she’s ready…aah the definition of insanity.

Plus I keep waiting to get to the stage that all well meaning friends and family have spoken of..the “one day you will look back and be glad you didn’t take that route”…I want that day to be today!


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