I know men (or most men anyway)..like to be the one to chase when they meet a woman. Does this urge end once we’re in a relationship? Ama you still want to be chasing? I just need to know..so I can practise being unavailable and what-not..
Why is it that when I don’t call, or message or try to get in touch with you, is when you suddenly remember that I exist?
I refuse to nag….and talk on and on about how much I miss the calls, the messages, the stuff we used to do together when we first met..I mean, it seems like I’m the only one who misses that…so what is the point? But when I decide to be quiet, is when I get the sweetest messages ever….when I give up cooking for you..is when I get offers for brunch/dinner…when I can’t be bothered if you show up later than you said you would, is when you are the soul of punctuality, or at least make an effort to apologise for being late..
Does the urge to chase never end?
Playing:
- Breakfast in bed- UB40
- Get you know you- Maxwell
29 responses so far ↓
CB // March 3, 2009 at 5:36 pm |
hehehe apparently not. cookie jar theory – you only want the cookies when they’re in the jar. zikiwa mkononi hazina ladha. so just hang out in the jar more often
[ps: pay no attention to me, my track record is cobwebbed
]
Rafiki // March 3, 2009 at 5:52 pm |
I don’t like to keep on chasing, since I don’t want to get too tired. So I have stopped chasing, but I still like to be kind, polite and attentive. Works in my case, may not work in other scenarios.
Erique // March 3, 2009 at 6:19 pm |
I think your title just answered your post
neema // March 3, 2009 at 9:43 pm |
i guess it doesnt. maybe he needs to still feel like he’s in control. personally, am done with nagging, i went thru that phase once, never again and surprising enough, it works. am the one who is getting nagged now and i love it!
DoomsDay // March 4, 2009 at 3:16 am |
Oh No..This is complicated.
Too many questions and insecurity
The Rogue King // March 4, 2009 at 4:46 am |
Hehehe, I hear “so I can practise being unavailable and what-not…”
Tough question that. Sometimes damsels play too hard at “hard to get” that the chasing urge just… evanesces (sp.)
It’s a game methinks, Tom-and-Jerry style.
It works though. It works.
Oh, I forget my manners.
Howdy, Val.
King // March 4, 2009 at 4:56 am |
Was seriously wondering why my comments are getting moderated of late. Figured it out though…
Shiko-Msa // March 4, 2009 at 5:31 am |
Thrill of the chase. It’s a guy thing. Once there’s no more chasing the thrill goes.
Baz // March 4, 2009 at 5:59 am |
CB is right. Set up a crib in that jar.
Mr. B2B... // March 4, 2009 at 6:29 am |
Hmmn
Val..
do not let me start…
filed under bitterness induced posts and other rants…
Ok..
ONE:
chics sometimes forget what it was that made the dude in question want to call them every day!
when this happens, they fear that the dude is losing interest and is eyeing (for lack of a better word) some other chic..
yet, if they took the time to understand it, he is just wondering what else he can do to keep you smiling
that is what King meant by Tom & Jerry…
of course if Tom got bored, then the show would mosdef end right?
TWO:
it’s like so, he initiates the chase, you like the chase..
he continues, you prolong…
then when he gets you (or so), it seems to have ended…
that is when the ball changes hands…
it comes down to it being your turn to make him feel special…
do small things, but not too much, other wise that common place feeling comes about
THREE:
if everything i am saying feels like crap, just do the cookie jar thing as suggested by CB3
Our Kid // March 4, 2009 at 6:38 am |
Tsk… there is really no such thing as ‘men’. Because men are all different just like fingerprints. The word ‘men’ is just a generic one to lump the whole caboodle of them. So there is no figuring out men. Some enjoy the thrill, some call press conferences to say ‘I have only one dear wife,’ some text you even after you are hitched, some are attention whores, some are … you get the drift.
And yes… I said different… not indifferent, though some really are.
normzo // March 4, 2009 at 8:27 am |
Chasing is just fine…it has a thrill to it…
and i think u did answer your Question by the title of your post.
cheers
The Emrys // March 4, 2009 at 10:47 am |
all the excitement is the chase
The Emrys // March 4, 2009 at 10:50 am |
meant is in the chase, damn keyboard.
hi val
boyfulani. // March 4, 2009 at 11:33 am |
Val,
i think men are simple beings.
and i can put up some ‘heartless post’ i have on the same sometime soon.
just for you.
but don’t take it seriously.
Shiroh // March 4, 2009 at 11:43 am |
I don’t know how to put it but there is no one answer to it. Some people don’t love to chase after they have nailed it otherwise they get tired of chasing. It’s just really bout the balance…
Shiroh // March 4, 2009 at 11:53 am |
and another thing i think that a man who does that is simply not really into you because most men want a chic so that he can have someone to spend time with and will want to be as close to her as possible. Correect me if i am wrong
pink m // March 4, 2009 at 2:19 pm |
I’m with @Our Kid, men are different as they are the same. Most of the younger ones are still chasing about, the ‘older ones’ like @Rafiki are tired of chasing and just want one person they are good together to settle down with.
What I say, if a man isn’t ready to pay some attention to the relationship, then he’s probably not for me, because those games are tiring.
I don’t believe in relationship games.
KK // March 4, 2009 at 3:03 pm |
LOL @ Our kid…. I choked over my comment after reading his…. so I’ll second CB for now though I think our Kid nailed it.
3TOC // March 4, 2009 at 9:41 pm |
Me I thought absence made the heart grow YONDER……….
If the dude is always wearing sneakers then he likes running but if he is wearing slippers, he done running. So check out the foot wear. Amd Lord help you should you find him wearing gum-boots coz that one kwa kweli is a farmer.And they like variety and zero grazing and fallowing the land and such ones.
Urbane' // March 5, 2009 at 5:39 am |
mmmh, interesting. I dont like this part of the relationship… but I will say I am with Mr. B2B…
Its like the feel when u pass by bavaria Auto and wish to have that new 7 series BMW. over time u think of it and plan for it… then you buy it one day… it feels nice riding around, to show off to friends, and mostly enemies… even guyz in traffic… they just dont like you for it.
You have it washed at that nice car wash every possible chance, curse anyone who crosses your way with some 110. You sit in it after arriving home/work 2 enjoy the leather and the music and stuff… then one day, the neighbor arrives home with the new Mercedes CLS 500 sport just when your BMW cant start, is having engine issues and has scratched bumpers and you have realized that the leather isnt all that…
What am saying is, with time everything has its falor challenged… be it a job, car, home, food or relationship… everything ages… and we dont like old stuff much… until we realize that we wholly depend on it… thats why old couples stick 2gether…
My two cents…
Tandra // March 5, 2009 at 3:57 pm |
21 comments? Gawsh i came late to this party!
and i dont know
lulu // March 5, 2009 at 5:29 pm |
i wish i could commnt on this but all i can say is i been here got tired of trying to make the move and being corporative and let be…
Mo // March 6, 2009 at 5:46 am |
@ Our Kid.
Sing it, brother.
I get a little frustrated when I hear women complain about “why do men…” or “men this and that” because we’re not all cut from the same mold and advice not appropriate to the situation may just worsen it. Just like all women are not “nagging, materialistic and superficial”, all men are not “include stereotype hre”.
@ Val, easier said than done but have you tried communicating your anxieties to him in a tactful manner?
A good format to use is “it makes me feel … when you …”. Stay away from “you always …” or “you never…”.
Try talking to him when you’re both in a good mood.
Thank you for watching tonight’s session of Focus on the Family, my name is Dr Mo Dobson.
chanelno5 // March 6, 2009 at 2:05 pm |
This kinda act creates yarning for more, give then take away
chanelno5 // March 6, 2009 at 2:08 pm |
This kinda act creates yarning for more, give 50 then take back 40
sibbie // March 7, 2009 at 2:54 pm |
26 comments??? Kwani I didn’t see this post???
Lol @3TOC!
Our Kid nailed it…and I might have to agree with CB and Mo on the same breath.
laitoriat // March 19, 2009 at 4:55 am |
I agree with urbane amongst a host of others. Its the thrill of the chase, once its over..he moves on to the next one. For some, the chase and the rush that it gives him is like a drug and he will always be looking for the next fix…the next conquest…the next challenge…the next mountain…the next race…the next match…get the drift? You must keep it challenging and never give him the feeling of complete conquest.
Mini confessions… « Valentia // April 23, 2009 at 4:32 pm |
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