Yesterday I was sad…sadder than I’ve been in a while. What I hate is being sad when its a sunny day..because when I see the sun I have this urge to smile, take a walk, sing happy songs and be at peace with the world..yet I was stuck under the duvet, dead to the world.
Today…today is different. I actually feel sunny inside. Its amazing what a phone call will do. Mama Val she rocks! Phone calls first thing in the morning; words of encouragement, calming me down (was in panic over some random issues), words of love and some advice. I sometimes wonder if I’ll ever be half as good as she is..(hope, pray). Benefits of growing up (and overcoming teenage angst) means our relationship is much better than it was when I was say 16.
About to digress here: I always wonder why some parents and children stop getting along during the child’s teenage years. I don’t understand it. One minute I was a happy child; happy to accompany my mother anywhere and everywhere and hang around her when she was in the kitchen (hence my love for cooking). Then I turned 13, and everything changed. I became a nightmare (granted I wasn’t as bad as some of my neighbours/ friends/ schoolmates but still a nightmare none the less). We would fight ALL the time..and I do mean ALL the time! I used to shout, she would shout as well (causing headaches to the rest who didn’t dare interfere). She’s kicked me out of the house so many times, I’ve walked out of the house so many times. Spent most of my time at home locked in my room listening to rock and refused to socialise with anyone else. At some point she thought I was on drugs (random misunderstanding….funny now that I look back..and NO I wasn’t on drugs), because she simply couldn’t understand the change in me. (And it didn’t help that all the newspapers and women’s magazines were going on and on about how behavioural change was a definite sign of drug abuse)..
I turned 19..and somehow the fights lessened…just as suddenly as they began. Now we can actually sit down and talk without me walking off in a huff. We spend time together…I actually listen to her when she calls (yes I used to put the phone on loud speaker and let her talk while I was watching Oprah or music videos on mute). Of course we still argue (and can still get very angry with each other)..but its not as bad as it once was. I can see her look at me in amazement, but all she will say is her prayers to Jesus have been answered. I still don’t get it..for those who do..explain it to me please.
Digressing over: Point of this long winded post is ———-> I’m happy you called me today. I’m blessed..and I hope I become that type of mother someday.
Playing:
- Without you- Lucy Pearl
- Last day- Teedra Moses
- I need a miracle- Plus one
