I’ll have you know that I am not the type of girl who says no when I mean yes. My “no” means “no”, it is not the pause before a “yes” or “maybe”.
Mr B2B, lemme borrow your “qouting time” for a minute ok? Copied this verbatim from an email my pal sent to me. (We were talking about how she could get rid of a certain persistent unwanted admirer..this is part ofwhat she said to him). In this day and age we still have men who don’t take NO for an answer..and believe they can still “win” you by constantly irritating the heck out of your life. The type who believes that if they’re in your face long enough, you’ll start to see another side of them..a side that will instantly make you fall at his feet. Hmphh!!!
But why? Like seriously I don’t understand such men..
- Is it that they don’t believe the woman they have fallen for could reject them?
- Ama they believe they are God’s gift to women therefore it never occurs to them that there are a couple of women out there who would refuse their advances?
- Ama they think you don’t know what it is you really want…so when you tell him “No” you really mean “Yes”?
- Ama they think you are playing hard to get?
Too many questions in my mind…Help me out here. What do you tell a man who refuses to accept that you have refused his advances??
Playlist:
- It’s over- John Legend ft Kanye
- Gills and tails- Amel Larrieux
- Fortunate- Maxwell
- Ritwa Riaku- Eric Wanaina
31 responses so far ↓
DoomsDay // May 17, 2009 at 1:20 am |
Socks!!
DoomsDay // May 17, 2009 at 1:27 am |
How would I turn down a chic? play along then tell her am not really interested.
Woishee..that’s mean.
As for guys, If he has liked, nothing you can say will change his mindset. The hunt has already began and when the animal is wounded,(express intentions) there is no turning back until it goes down. Best thing would be to hide until he loses interest, i.e multiply him by 0 and hope for the best
Now what if you can’t hide? If its someone you have to see on a daily basis e.g at work ama at school…what are you supposed to do? Skive just to avoid him?
bomseh // May 17, 2009 at 3:09 am |
What when the situation is reversed? Ladies, please, what is the best way to deal with you in a negative way without mass production of tears?
If she is all up in your face…then by all means be direct…use the “unflushable” theory by Archer if needs be..If someone told me “No” the first time, why would I hang around hoping the answer has changed since the last time I checked?
sibbie // May 17, 2009 at 8:05 am |
Run for the hills! or better yet, tell him bilaz to his face and feel nothing about it.
Now what if have already told him “No” before but he doesn’t believe you? To his face even…he waits a bit..then comes back with the same BS again
@Bomseh…whatever you do or not do will always end up in tears production..it’s a chic thing.
archer // May 17, 2009 at 8:10 am |
Valid question Bomseh asked. There’s no way you can tell someone off without hurting their feelings.
Very true…
Whether they get the message is another thing altogether. Some men are conditioned to believe that persistence can get them any woman they desire, so telling them no makes them think you’re merely playing hard to get. Keep saying no until he gets the point.
This particular one has refused to get the message. Guess my girl will just have to keep saying “No” til it sinks in..
MaleView // May 17, 2009 at 9:32 am |
Are you trying to tell us women never play hard to get?
There are women who play hard to get..however this post is not about such women..so read it again..
Please, you know you like the chase. Most women don’t want to seem to eager to give in(or that theyre desperate,loose etc), and thus would want a man to “prove” that he really likes her thus she will play him along until she is fairly certain he really likes her.
Again…read the post…it seems you didn’t get the point of the post.
Of course sometimes a no means no(and some men cant get a hint), but it depends on the situation and the woman. So, yes sometimes a no can men maybe/yes with women.
Ala! What do you mean “sometimes”? If a girl has told you several times that she is not interested..she shows NO signs of ever being interested…then you shouldn’t think her “no” is a “yes”…if you do..pole kwako
This “game” has been there since time immemorial, so it has nothing to do with “being modern” its nature.
Mo // May 17, 2009 at 10:02 am |
I’m going to play the Devil’s advocate and say I believe SOME women play a part in conditioning men so. I have actually heard of someone that told some guy courting her that ’she’s hard to get’. Believe it. And yeah, he got her in the end. Now, that dude, what’s to stop him believing that it’s a chic thing?
Ok..this is definitely NOT one of those situations…
But then again, a lady that’s forthright with her intentions (with no beating about the bush) might get a different kind of label. Darned if you do, darned if you don’http://www.thefaustchronicle.com/t.
Wait, what were we talking about?
Men who don’t believe a woman when she says “No, I’m not interested and will never be interested in going out with you.”
Yeah, that guy. Is he West African by any chance? Those brothers coined the word ‘tenacious’.
Can you believe the man in question is Kenyan….smh
Mama // May 17, 2009 at 3:29 pm |
Val, tell him you are NOT interested!
Fortunately I’m not the girl who is being pursued…and he DOES know..just chooses NOT to accept it.
I have been accused of being cold in the past coz I tell people straight up (note if they persist I can be quite rude). But surely, if you don’t want, you don’t! There’s no two ways about it.
Preach!
Eef Dee Eye // May 17, 2009 at 6:52 pm |
Hypotheses:
It has been suggested within the first few minutes you meet someone an impression is created favorable or otherwise – Blink (Malcolm Gladwell)
Would I be wrong to suggest that maybe there was a tiny ray of hope the brother saw from the first encounter? You know what guys are all about we always stay positive in the something will come out.
Hahaha….
Alternatively you must one of those ‘good natured’ people and he us just sprung! He can’t imagine he is losing you.
You can’t lose what you don’t have can you?
Interesting playlist as usual reminds me of Keith Sweat’s “There you go tellin me no again” – another brother begging!
Milo // May 17, 2009 at 10:32 pm |
Actions speak louder than words. Dont pick his calls, dont reply his texts, avoid him like the plague. Works well unless he’s a workmate or someone you have to hang around often.
Well in this case the man can’t be avoided….unless you have a way of avoiding work/school mates..that I would like to hear.
petesmama // May 18, 2009 at 5:53 am |
I’m with Milo – stop talking, just act. He will get the hint eventually. Guys are generally conditioned to believe that tenacity will get them somewhere. Don’t allow yourself to get pissed off or irritated with him or you will confuse your brain into believing he is actually important enough to waste feelings on.
I’m in total agreement with this last line!!
Then you will even find yourself thinking about him more often than you should. Ignore it…
Mo // May 18, 2009 at 7:00 am |
Wait, why did my comment quote Nik’s blog in there? I could have sworn I didn’t type it.
Hehe….majini
As for that Kenyan brother, also SMH.
Erique // May 18, 2009 at 7:09 am |
Best way to blow us off is letting us in and then giving us the worst sex ever, being bad kissers, you know the drill. But don’t say no.
As usual Erique..your comments never fail to amuse..
Sup Valentia
Howdy Erique
Urbane' // May 18, 2009 at 9:46 am |
he heee… hapa you have to do something drastic… that will really piss him off… else its so on, haendi. Find something that will probably hurt his ego and maybe ashame him kidogo…
Interesting idea…shall give it a try..
As for No being No, well, I personally take No’s to be No’s and Maybe’s & Yes to be just Yes… Enlighten us as said up there… These Tears have made me change mind severally…
A No is a No…as for the Maybe thats up for interpretation I guess…
King // May 18, 2009 at 1:45 pm |
Reminds of the one eyed chap in monsters Inc. who refused to get dissappointed. Dude always had this “Right, huh, huh, come on!” look on his face.
I know people who know people who can “enforce” the message. Trust me, he’d never bug you again. *evil grin*
Heeheee….get me a number!! Where do I sign up?
Hey Val.
Hey King
Sleek // May 18, 2009 at 9:48 pm |
Val, whatever you do, steer clear of King’s advice…Erique has a point though
You’d rather I take Erique than King’s advice? Tehehehe
Mo // May 19, 2009 at 10:00 am |
Majini indeed.
Psst! I’m now ‘Mo’, not ‘mo ma’.
Alter blogroll accordingly.
Hehehe…ok Mo!
kthxbye!
ukwelii // May 19, 2009 at 1:40 pm |
Simple: Get the ‘cousin’ friend of a tall, burly, stocky nature to give the said dude (who won’t take no for an answer) a call or better yet a visit.
Guy:” Cuz, is this the nutcase who’s been irritatin’ you?”
Gal: (shy, bashful voice) Uh-huh
Now if only I could get the girl’s voice to be “shy and bashful” lol!
Bish, bash, mish mash face rearrange or just look him dead in the eye and go…. “Boo!”
He’ll never come back again.
Trust me
lulu // May 20, 2009 at 6:46 am |
been there sista this guy in question never took my polite no’s for no’s so i stopped talking to him after several attempts of letting him know i was not that into him. he kept coming back and trying with a twisted view of my no all together, till i gave up trying coz i was getting harsh with him so i simply stopped talking to him reply his messages and seeing him. he got the point!
With time…he finally got the point!
CB // May 21, 2009 at 3:52 pm |
i like this template. it’s pretty
Thanks hun
no advice on the post though. but i see you got loads already so yay!
Sybella // May 23, 2009 at 8:49 am |
preach it girl…
i think it is mostly because they think you are playing hard to get and that they are God’s gift to us…
the worst for me is when you tell them that you have a man and they say it is alright, they can compete! like it is a bloody sport!
True…so true..I hate that..and have gone through that as well..
pinkmemoirs // May 24, 2009 at 7:17 pm |
The reason it has taken me so long to respond is because I’ve been researching on this. I woulda lent you my ‘ stop this nonsense’ look, but then, that might not work.
Haya, head on here, rate the dude on th Terrorist Advisory Meter http://thebookofjackson.blogspot.com/2009/04/terrorist-alert-advisory-system.html
Halafu, crash the car babe http://www.singleblackmale.net/2009/04/30/crash-the-car/
If that doesn’t work, you will need me to come give him the look.
Love, I actually love the SBM site..and I read the theories…all true!! I guess a combination of ignoring, plus being very blunt worked wonders..
pinkmemoirs // May 24, 2009 at 7:18 pm |
Why I’m I getting moderated? You blocked me dear? hehe!!
Hauwuu..that would NEVER happen dear!
[B2B] // May 25, 2009 at 6:54 am |
Ok Val.
I have been away…
You can use all the quotes if you please…
Thanks…and gawsh yes we’ve both bn away..sigh
and some advice on the Persistent Man Ish
ONE:
Watch him real closely.
If you know any one of his friends, just take him aside for a very blasting conversation about his friend and let him know of any consequences….
This one…well she doesn’t know his friends..so thats out..
TWO:
You got any members of your family who played rugby, american football, basketball…
Let them in on the story without erm blowing it out of proportion, coz you don’t want to be the reason for a brother getting his head stuck down a toilet..
Hmm..time to call in older cousins..
THREE:
be somewhere with your “splackavelli” and make sure the Persistent Man views you giving Splack a very deep kiss….
Hahaha…that might work..however he might take it as a challenge (ref Sybella’s comment)
FOUR:
Just call Erique for a drink and make sure that the Persistent Man sees you and him having the time of your life…
Erique?? Hehehe..I don’t want to get in between him and Antipop..
FIVE:
Just call Mr.B2B and ask him to text you some telephone number for a certain security official’s hot line…
How have you been?
Me? Well we shall talk..
savvy // June 2, 2009 at 6:54 am |
Will comment later..just had to let my presence felt.
Your presence is acknowledged girl!
Shiko-Msa // June 3, 2009 at 12:29 pm |
Some of them are psychos. There’s one I know mpaka the lady has had to get a restraining order from the police. Still he wont listen!
Gawsh…that is a serious mental case..
3TOC // June 3, 2009 at 5:51 pm |
Mami, sii you update or something. There is no solar power huko?
Hiya! Aki I have abandoned the blog huh? Ok will post soon!
boyfulani. // June 4, 2009 at 1:42 pm |
waiting….
Loco // June 5, 2009 at 6:03 am |
I’m so late to comment on this one, what!!!
I think next time this happens to me I’ll print this out and give it to the clueless man, Might help to get the message through some
Loco // June 5, 2009 at 6:06 am |
Ohhhhh and I do believe another post is as overdue as my comment…
Peter (Walkabout) Njenga // June 6, 2009 at 2:01 pm |
NO means YES. . . JUST KIDDING
- On the T-Shirt Kumar wore in Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay.