So at what point do you know that you have moved on?
Is there supposed to be a big AHA! moment ama a couple of signs here and there will do?
And if you experience a moment of weakness (ie start to miss them, send a random text/email/phonecall/agree to meet up) does that count as a set-back in the “getting over” process ama is that just a random blip?
How do you know that the next relationship you enter into is not a rebound thing?
ValFM:
- Put it on you- Missy Elliott ft Teyana Taylor and Pharrell
- You want this- Janet Jackson
- Its a party- Tamia
20 responses so far ↓
Milo // October 29, 2009 at 6:36 pm |
Ninii
In my experience it tends to be an AHA moment that takes time. And u find urself wishing them well with someone else other than u
Before then the blips will be there…
Rebounds are not so easy to spot though if the new person is strikingly similar to the Ex be wary.
boyfulani // October 29, 2009 at 6:49 pm |
I tend to rub people off my memory the instant things stop working.
However, this attitude is so susceptible to ‘rekindling’…
but when you meet and there is zero Chemistry, baaaaaaaas.
sibbie // October 29, 2009 at 7:05 pm |
I never know when i’ve moved on but i do. And i avoid the blips. Nothing good ever comes out of them.
farmgal // October 29, 2009 at 11:46 pm |
When you can’t remember the last time you thought about that naniii..then there’s an aha moment!
TRP // October 30, 2009 at 3:49 am |
I soooo need those answers
Maya // October 30, 2009 at 5:52 am |
I like the way farmgal has put it! I think that there is the ‘aha moment’!!
I can tell you since I broke up with my fiance almost 6 months ago I have had many moments when I have thought to myself,’I think I have moved on’, until when moments of missing that person suddenly sprout. This for me is a moment of weakness and I normally feel like I have let myself down. But of late, I don’t bother, I just let myself experience these moments but make sure I don’t communicate. Its only normal to feel this way and I think in many ways a step to moving on as long as you dont prolong the moment.
I can’t wait for the moment when I can’t remember the last time I thought about him!!
Hang in there!
petesmama // October 30, 2009 at 9:16 am |
If you need the answers to this question and are feeling guilty about contacting the person, then you are still in danger. Avoid getting together with a new person while you are still in danger because you will hurt them.
As for the AHA moment, you will know. And it will be sweet!
kellie // October 30, 2009 at 12:52 pm |
I know the answer to this one!
Wait! @Maya, 6 months? *hugs*
Honestly babes, I don’t know the answer to this one. I’ve never rebounded *dead*
Ok, seriously, when you’re going out with someone else and you find yourself thinking about the ex, then that’s a rebound IMO.
When have you moved on?
When you start drooling over cute guys in the bank queues, yet for the last 1 year, you haven’t noticed a single cute guy.
Ok, checking out now.
Darius Stone // October 30, 2009 at 3:45 pm |
“So at what point do you know that you have moved on?”
It’s like pornography. You’ll know it when you see it.
“Is there supposed to be a big AHA! moment ama a couple of signs here and there will do?”
I tend to think the point at which either or both of you declaring the relationship is over is a good enough Aha moment. I know how my mother would answer this ‘looking for a sign thing’ coz’ I’ve heard her impart her wisdom to an unsuspecting cousin – “Darling, what you’re doing is looking for any opportunity to eat your own vomit. It’s done, move onn”
“And if you experience a moment of weakness (ie start to miss them, send a random text/email/phonecall/agree to meet up) does that count as a set-back in
the “getting over” process ama is that just a random blip?”
I can answer this one as a former smoker who quit cold turkey. A stupid thing to do I must admit coz’ the cold turkey nearly killed me but I survived. I had to keep away from smokers, clubs, pubs and anywhere that would tempt me until I was done. Now you could even blow smoke in my face and I won’t be moved….mind you, I’ll probably punch your lights out coz’ it’s annoying, but I won’t be moved.
“How do you know that the next relationship you enter into is not a rebound thing?”
Again, see my answer no. 1 – you’ll know it when it happens.
kellie // October 30, 2009 at 4:52 pm |
Trust Darius to say it like it is!
Thanks Darius, you blessed my heart.
Sleek // October 31, 2009 at 12:04 am |
i think Darius is onto something
Mama // October 31, 2009 at 4:42 am |
Last month I think I had that ‘aha’ moment and it was a real good revelation too.
I thought I would never move on more so because the said person and I talk a lot. We thought it was a good idea to stay friends when we parted (not a very bright idea when both of you have strong feelings).
I was talking to him the other day and right in the middle of the conversation, I realised that I don’t need him in my life as an SO and friendship was really enough. I guess also the volume of ‘my innocent’ phone calls went down drastically.
Then I started going out with other guys. Let me tell you, I don’t even notice anyone else when I am committed to someone, but Kellie has described me there, aki all of a sudden you just start seeing fly men, it’s like they didn’t exist before. Aki if you start noticing other guys, you will just know.
I think also when you come to thinking, aiii what was I thinking having this person in my life? I guess you also have moved on……I had that feeling with another ex. Even today, I wonder what the hell I was thinking! Although we met in my late teens but surely!!
I guess that is how one may know.
On the last question on rebounds how about you confirm you have moved on first?
Basiks // November 2, 2009 at 8:24 am |
When B2B calls you up for a drink, and you smile knowing that it is so on!
Nice queries though…
Whence you see her (him in your case) and nothing feels any different!…
but you will know when you feel it Val..
kellie // November 2, 2009 at 2:57 pm |
I’m back. Val you have to kick me out of here.
@Mama, something funny. I’ve never thought ‘why was I with this person’ of any guy I’ve dated, pretended to date, or liked.
does that mean I haven’t moved on from any of them?
Sybella // November 3, 2009 at 5:19 pm |
getting in touch is definitely a set back. whenever you start missing him, try to remember all the nasty stuff and bad stuff he might have done to resist making that call or sending that text…
when you finally are able to see/think of him and it doesn’t ache inside, you have moved on…
Gish // November 6, 2009 at 12:04 pm |
For me its when i see them and i dont get that feeling in your stomach. I would say keep away for a while it helps alot.
mwistar // November 10, 2009 at 1:49 am |
For me, the last AHA! moment came when I met her new boyfriend, and discovered that his hands were as dry as King Tut’s mummy.
I still wanted to text her, but only to say that cocoa butter was on sale on the weekend.
Urbane' // November 11, 2009 at 11:26 am |
WordPress should introduce those “Like This” options… coz I like lots of responses given here…
savvy // November 12, 2009 at 6:34 am |
If you are still missing your ex, or you compare every guy you meet with him, then you haven’t moved on.
And I do agree that the Aha moment comes when you realize you can’t remember the last time you thought about him.
cannalily // November 16, 2009 at 1:24 pm |
Wow so many good answers here…
How do you know it’s not a rebound? It’s so hard to tell but I know if it’s a guy who is totally not your type, wouldn’t-have-been-caught-dead-with-before kinda guy…it’s a rebound most probably
I think there’s an AHA moment when you realise you haven’t thought about the person for ages or can’t remember when you last missed them
But i think the best indicator is when your ex moves on and you see the girl or hear about her and feel nothing.
Then you are home free