Jumbled up thoughts…..

So it seems I’ve forgotten how to blog. How sad is that? My blog is like my diary, my space to vent, my space to unleash all the songs I love, random thoughts, wonderful thoughts, unimportant things that happened in my day, journeys back in time, obsession with food (speaking of which,,,I kinda ignored my food blog. Someone give me my cooking mojo back? Please?)

Anyhu…I digress.

I’ve been through a lot since my last blog. Some good, some bad, some downright naughty and exciting, some embarassing…(yes..alot)

So I was up and down…went to Rwanda..I know I promised to do a post on it..but time by so fast..and before I knew it I simply lost the syke to sit and type down what happened. So a quick summary:

• Being mistaken for a Rwandese lady (This was a compliment)
• Working with a boss who calls me Malaika..(so not a compliment)
• Eating my way through buckets of plantain (I LOVE plantain!)
• Being in a place so beautiful, you can’t imagine that just a few years ago, neighbour turned against neighbour with machetes, guns, sticks, rocks and what have you.
• Visiting the lake..
• Visiting the prisons. I went to this prison that looked like a boarding school. The grounds were so immaculate…salalale, I couldn’t believe I was in a prison if it wasn’t for the orange and pink uniforms the prisoners wore.
  
• Working with people who show no remorse for what they did.
  
• Crying my heart out when we visited  the memorial in Kigali. I reached the children’s memorial…and couldn’t hold back the ache. How do you decide to throw a 2 year old against a wall? Crazy doesn’t even begin to explain it. I sadly didn’t have time to go to the other memorials.
  
• Eating so much…(this is a theme that run through the whole trip)
• Loving the weather….it was so warm! I loved the fact that it stayed warm even at night…plus its much safer that home…we were able to walk around at night.
• Going for road trips (ok officially we were going to work..but I enjoyed the trips so much..aki Rwanda is beautiful..so yes..it was a roadtrip)
• The internet there is so damn fast! Hauwu…can .Ke please catch up?
• The women are gorgeous! Salalala!
• Some men were hawt! Yes fever inducing hawt! I saw this particular one I wanted to take home with all..all six foot plus of his hawt self..if only he could fit in my luggage (he kept me smiling the whole day!)
• There was a point I was sick for 2 afternoons in a row. How sad is that? I remember having to leave the lakeside restaurant without even eating. I was in so much pain, but there was nothing wrong with me. So we concluded that it was the chemicals from Lake Kivu that were messing with my system. (our story and we stuck to it)
• Interesting experience all in all I want to go back when I have the money…go to the National Parks and see the gorillas. We missed the Gorilla naming ceremony (It happened this year in June). It is quite a big deal there..they even had the President attend the function.

Now…back to work in Arusha. aka A-town. This internship is a different experience to last year’s. I guess because there are a different set of people working here. Some nice, some cute…(ahem)..some interesting.

Plus I realised that no matter what you do and how hard you try, some people are just NOT going to be satisfied with you. Which is life…I just wonder why someone would choose to keep their options open…while at the same time tell their siginificant other that they are still committed to the relationship. I simply don’t understand it.

So….in that breath I have chosen to enjoy myself…and let some people be. I don’t need stress in my life..and certainly not from you!

Moving on…spent some lovely weekends with my girlfriends…..last weekend for example was muchoz fun…we went round A-town…had some yummy cocktails…gossiped a lot…met up with some interesting people…all in all…fun!

Oooh….I think I’m getting my blogging mojo back…woop! I guess once you start typing, it gets easier as it goes along huh?

I’ve just re-read what I wrote…and its so jumbled up..but whatever. I’m back!!!

Salaams to the usual beloveds….The net is too slow to link names…. @PinkM, @B2B, @Shiko-Msa, @Petesmama, @Mama, @Archer, @3TOC, @Loco, @Zax, @Darius Stone, @Sybella, @Doomsday, @Boyfulani, @Jny23ug, @Lucie, @Farmgal, @SolomonKing, @The Emrys, @3CB, @Normzo, @Mo-Mo Baggins @Gish, @Nzembi, @The Rising Page….

ValFM:

• Digital girl (remix)- Jamie Foxx, Kanye West, The Dream, Drake
• Prototype- Jazmine Sullivan

Yumminess

So the food blog is up and running. Yes even without a camera..Sigh. Trying out a Jamie recipe tonight..hope it works out.

http://ilumi.wordpress.com/

Mini confessions…

From Emi came this Honesty Scrap Award. Apparently its coz of the food posts….Thanks! And now for some confessions (ok mild ones but all the same…..)

Attachments to the award.
1.You must brag about the award

2.You must include the name of the blogger who bestowed the award on you and link back to the blogger

3.You must choose a minimum of seven (7) blogs that you find brilliant in content or design.

4.Show their names and links and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with Honest Weblog.

5.List at least ten (10) honest things about yourself. Then pass it on with the instructions!

Now for the truths..

1. I’m obsessed with my wo-wo-wo (ok this is fairly obvious). Despite self-pep talks, and encouraging words from friends and family, I still get incredibly hurt when someone makes a stupid comment about it. Liposuction is in the future…
2. I love cartoons…especially early in the morning. I have a habit of watching at least 1 episode while having breakfast. Even on the days I have to wake up early, I set the alarm earlier just to have enough time to watch cartoons. Anyone who thinks cartoons are best left to children knows by now to keep that particular opinion to themselves.
3. Love books…I think coz I’m kinda quiet, books are my best friend coz they don’t talk back.. A perfect day would def include some quiet time, cuddled up somewhere with a book. At times I’d rather read than go out.
4. I don’t have any middle ground (emotion wise)..when I’m happy (usually on sunny days like today) I’m over the moon..smiling with everyone and whistling while doing whatever. When I’m down, omg…I get really down…can easily spend a day in tears, head aching, swollen face, chest pains, weird thoughts…I need to stop letting stuff getting to me.
5. When I get angry or hurt, I go quiet….seriously quiet. For days and weeks on end. Sometimes its coz I fear what would fly out of my mouth if I chose to speak (there are times I also get shocked by what I’m saying..its like my brain and mouth operate on different channels). Other times its coz I can’t be bothered. I’d rather be alone than spend time arguing about the same thing over and over.
6. Food…I like..no love! Sometimes I cook and then can’t be bothered to eat (Thats why I like to cook when there is someone around to enjoy the food). When cooking, I like to be alone (ok I don’t mind cooking with mummy, cousins, sisters or girlfriends) but there is something about cooking alone. What I need is a radio set on loud volume and a glass of yumminess (errmm wine/ Baileys or smoothie I’m in a healthy phase) and I’m good to go! Singing as I cook along is great therapy. I enjoy experimenting (sometimes to bad results but mostly it works out alright).
7. I’m an introvert…but out-going with the few I like….so when I meet someone, the first time I’ll probably be shy and quiet…but if we click, then haiya we get along like a house on fire. I’m not the type who makes friends easily…I envy people who have the gift. It took me a while, but this is something I’ve accepted about myself and cannot change.
8. I find it weird when people have conversations with someone (on-line or on the phone)…yet they have never met. Ok let me qualify this and say that this has slightly changed since I became a blogger, but still I wonder, “How do you talk for days on end with someone you have never met?” For me, there is one who has become a real friend…but other than that, if there are no chances of us meeting, then errmm yeah..it will bother me.
9. Much as I don’t believe that in the home there is work for the “men” and work for the “women”, I fear that is what my life will turn out to be if I get married/ move in with a Mr…..this is me who learnt how to change a light bulb juzi…yes I must admit before I used to sweetly ask Daddy to do this…and after that my housemate used to change it for me…I don’t know how cars run….so will prob turn into one of those women who get stranded in Kajiado and call hubby in Nairobi to ask for help (I was there when this happened..and I didn’t find it shocking)..yes instead of calling AA, she called the hubby…so yeah I need to learn the inner workings of lights, cars, sinks and drains, electric equipment and so on and so forth. Only then will I happily sing “Independent women-type” songs (Like Superwoman by Alicia which is soothing me now) without guilt.
10. I’m not the type to say “I love you” just like that. Too often I find that people say it like its a greeting..like you end the conversation by saying “Ok..I love you. Bye”…to which I will reply “Bye”, full-stop. Have to admit that I’ve only said it..and meant it, to one person (who I’m currently trying to forget). Then, I was in love…to have that thrown back in my face, and then you try to confuse my head by talking in double speak  made me shut down. kinda….after that, I have been extremely fond of the guys I’ve met…but still not enough to say “I love you”…more like “luv ya” ama “love you” which kinda means the same…but not the same. As she said, the best definition is a cynical romantic. I still believe it will happen someday (whether it will currently happen with he who is currently causing me to write random posts such as this and this, we shall have to wait and see)

Now to pass on the award:

• PinkM-one of my fav bloggers.
• Loco- Just started reading your blog..me-likey!
• Mama- Some of your posts amuse me…like alot (to the point of crying)..lol
• Shiko- fellow juicer of the fruit
• Tandra- Queen of random vybe..
• 3TOC- Lover of lesos, Subway and No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency
• Cheri- Can this tempt you back into our midst?

Val-FM:

• Back and forth- Aaliyah
• The first night- Monica

Food…reading….and other bits of randomness

• I can’t concentrate…trying to proof read my assignment before I hand it in..but I can’t..like physically my body says  NO! (said in the tone of the travel agent in Little Britain..I do adore that show).
• But somehow I have the energy to read food blogs…the pictures and words are so yummy sounding. (I wanted to say seductive but I don’t want to go off on a tangent).
• I want to start a food blog. What is stopping me? Camera..I need one of those (and in current financial times..the little £ I have gets sucked up by bills and what not..blargh)…Aside from that…nothing really. One can always save yes? (Dreaming of a wonderful site filled with pics of cake…and my crazy smoothie concotions..drool)
• I hurt…at some point decided to re-discover fitness..and now my various bits and pieces ache…Why do I keep starting?? I need to earn enough to hire a trainer…someone to push me..for real I’m seeing this as the only way I’ll be working out in the future.
• I really have sympathy for those working in the customer service industry…especially in banks…I’ve called them so many times recently that I’m scared they’ll block the number..ama hung up when they hear my voice..but I’m polite..even when frustrated I’m still polite…the urge to NOT be polite creeps in..but its not really their fault. Its the fault of some nameless annoyance in there who would have saved me loads of trouble and anguish if  (s)he had done their job. Not for you to insist you have done it, when it is clear you haven’t done it at all.
• Still hating the fact that I can’t watch some vids on YouTube..resolve the issue once and for all..sheeeeeeeeeeeesh!
• I want a new pair of shoes…I keep saying I will buy fabulous shoes..but they would just sit in my closet waiting for a fabulous outfit…
• Ok…changed my mind..I want these shoes…oh so pretty..my heart longs for you!

• I need a new crush…(guitar playing and ability to cook is optional..but a welcome bonus)

ValFM:

• God in me- Mary Mary
• Jai Ho- Pussycat Dollls
• Weight of my tears- Dondria
• Knock you down- Keri Hilson ft Kanye and Ne-yo

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter my blog brethren!

Now I don’t know if I feel the Easter spirit and all. Reasons?

• I still miss my family..even after all these years I still miss spending the holidays with them..I want to be a little girl again…enjoy the routine of a new outfit, church, food, lots of Fanta orange and visits to Grandmama Val.
• Arguements with 2 of my nearest and dearest means my Easter this year won’t be as pleasant as it should.
• Received an invite..and I’m wondering whether to go or not. I don’t know why I feel wierd about going…yet I do know why I feel wierd about going. Does this make sense?
• My faith has taken a bit of a tumble..or more than a bit. I don’t feel close to Him. I feel like we’re on opposite sides of a chasm..sigh. I know HE loves me..I guess I just need to trust a bit more.

I hope y’all enjoy the 4 day holiday..and find the spirit of Easter somehow.

Unrelated thoughts:

So I went to have my hair braided (and it looks lovely now I’m quite pleased). The ladies doing my hair were Ghanaian..and in the process of braiding my hair decided to put on a Nollywood flick called “Before my eyes“. I watched Parts 1 and 2. Happiness was induced! I almost missed my bus coz I sat there engrossed well after they were done with the hair. It had everything a good Naija flick should have….love, unrequited love, murder, fraud, business dealings gone bad, a character who had recently come back from the States. More surprisingly,it had good sound quality too! That was definitely the highlight of my week.

Playing:

• If I could change the world- Eric Clapton
• Dedicated to the one I love- Bitty McLean
• You don’t love me (no,no,no)- Dawn Penn