Moving on..so its a new year and with it come all manner of changes. I didn’t sit down and make resolutions on the 31st but I have been thinking this month about the changes I need to make in my life. Some stick…some don’t but yeah ni kujaribu tu au sio?

Food:

I have consumed my weight and half over the festive period. Gatho!! From hanging out with my family, the beloved and my closest friends, I have eaten like I was paid to do so! Uwi. All manner of forbidden foods, drinks and shisha were consumed with a quickness these last three months..and I’m paying for it. I had started a healthier food scheme last year (after similar excesses in Dec) and was doing well at it (with the exception of “that time of the month”, “I feel sadness that only chocolate can take away” and other emotional eating habits). Lakini I was well and truly dragged off the wagon and my clothes have refused to agree with me as a result.

So I’m back on the wagon. There is something about living with mother that just brings out the healthy eater in me..I eat fruits everyday regardless of where I am..lakini now I’m learning to enjoy more greens in my diet (instead of my staple bread and cheese). So we’re on the right track. Eating out less (my purse is thanking me for this as well) haha and not eating when I’m bored. (Serious temptation). So pole pole we’re on the right track for this year. I can never diet..I love fries too much. Lakini reducing the frequency of such sinful foods is best methinks.

Work outs have resumed as well. Sweating like mad! I’m still a bit inconsistent lakini yeah..better that than nothing I miss my long rambling walks in Nyeri. I think I need to plan a trip there soon!

Hair…right now I’m in love with it. Uwi. I had braided it for some time because I could not be bothered with it. So when I took the braids out, I decided to show my hair some love. I put a hot-oil treatment, a moisture treatment, and a henna gloss treatment. Not all at the same time but in the space of two weeks after I removed the braids. I got the black organic henna from one of my trips and I loved it! It made my hair darker Not that obvious black of hair dye..just 2 shades darker. Also had it trimmed. Love! Admittedly I got lazy at some point and had it straightened but I’m done with that for now. Currently rocking a bantu-knot-out. I’m on day 3 and I love it! My hair gets fluffier by the day! I simply apply a little oil on my scalp and massage it in and add some leave-in and I’m done. So in love! The henna is still in effect (you can tell I’m a henna lover huh?) One problem I have is that I can’t get natural black henna in Kenya. So if anyone knows where to get some..holla! I do use Nupur henna but mainly as a conditioning treatment since it has no colour effect (boo!) I plan to stay away from the heat as much as possible, and do some protective styling soon!

Have a couple more changes to make..but yeah. Let’s move on.

Also have to get used to some unpleasant changes. A friendship break-up is hard. Going through another and it sucks. When it reaches a point where you start questioning yourself. So many maybes and what-ifs. Then at some point you just have to let go and realize people make time for people they want in their lives. This is the second time I’m going through this with a close friend, and it does make me re-evaluate the type of friend I am. Lakini as my sister says, in every relationship there are two people involved. So there is only so much I can do to fight to keep this. I’m letting go.

ION:

Safaricom suck….seriously in all of EA they have to have the worst internet services ever! So slow…mara the modem refuses to load. Did I mention how slow they are? They piss me off! I use Orange in UG and Zantel in TZ…what bliss! I can actually surf like a normal human being (not go make tea while waiting for the page to load), send emails, finish blog posts (yes Safaricom cut one of my blog posts in half. How it did that? I haven’t the faintest). So yeah..just needed to vent and get that out of my system.

ValFM:

• Since I fell for you- Gladys Knight
• This bitter earth- Randy Crawford and Joe Sample
• God must love you- Babyface

Writing that makes you take a deep breath.

Writing that stirs that feeling in your chest. The kind of feeling you can’t describe no matter how hard you tried.

Writing that makes you smile.

Writing that turns you on.

Writing that makes you ache and cry.

Writing that makes you forget that you are in a crowded room.

Writing that draws you into a different world.

I’ve always loved reading for as long as I can remember. I remember at one point my mother would try and hide my books and make me go outside to play. I went outside (one didn’t dare disobey the mother)…but I smuggled a book with me too. A book, umbrella, one of the sofa cushions and a leso to lie down on. Pure bliss.

I read everywhere imaginable…sitting comfortably on an old cow trough that I had converted into the perfect hidey hole in the corner of cucu’s farm. Curled up in my favourite arm chair, masai shuka covering my feet. In the bus on the way to town. Sitting on the bathroom floor with the door locked. Sitting in the bathtub….bubbles, candle light and soft music in the background. Bliss.

This reminds me of the movie “Brown Sugar” when Sanaa is asked, “So, when did you fall in love with hiphop?” She took a breath, her eyes lit up as she recalled the memory. My earliest memory is of my 7th Birthday. Best birthday ever…junk food, unending soda and presents galore. One of the presents I got was a children’s encyclopedia. I stayed up and read the whole night.

Thus the love affair began.

I’m not sure what inspired this post. I guess its the fact that I haven’t read in a while. By this I mean sitting down and indulging. Found a quiet corner and just given myself up to the pleasure of a good book. Soon I promise self.

I need to fall in love again.

VALFM:

• Some other time- Jill Scott
• Everyone hurts- Kirk Franklin
• What would I be- Robin Thicke

Anyhu fast forward to this year. Moved back home..got a job that I loved (although it did have its moments) and yeah..I was finally headed somewhere.

Relationships. I met this guy. Awesome guy really. We had our share of ups and downs..(that’s the problem when you are both hard headed people) but yeah…awesome. Thing is, he was from a different country..and when we moved back home, we wondered what would happen. Would we stay together? (We all know how difficult long distance relationships are), would we just remain a campus romance and fizzle out the minute we moved back home? Yeah at this point we weren’t too sure about anything.

Long distance is hard…as in bone crushing hard! Especially when you were used to seeing this person everyday..to not seeing them for months at a time…it was hard. The random fights at the beginning..that is what missing someone does to you.

It got easier…not so much though. You’d think at some point I would have gotten used to the good-byes, to having plans botched just because of the timing or work…but yeah not so much. But as I said..it got easier. I’m not saying I’ve got this LDR thing down pat..because I don’t.  I still find myself acting like a spoiled child when things don’t go according to plan..not always though..but sometimes

Guess what I’ve learnt from this journey is the need to communicate. I mean communication is important in any relationship but even more so in LDRs. The second is making an effort to visit and spend time with your SO. Traveling is time and money consuming but its so worth it. I tend to think if you cannot make the time (work, finance and family constraints allowing) then what is the point of being together? Ok I have to digress here. I know some people who can’t travel when they want to, simply because the person lives in a different continent…but, if your SO lives in a neighboring town or country and you don’t have problem spending your money to go out weekends and spend time with your friends, then you should not have a problem saving some of that cash to travel to see said SO. IMHO. The third is trust. Relationships cannot work without trust…but its amazing how your mind can wander when you are in a LDR. The fourth thing is to develop your own interests. Now my sister’s room-mate is in a LDR. Her and her boyfriend live on different continents but you would think they are Siamese twins. They spend all day and most of the night on Skype or on the phone..even when she is the bathroom. That is a tad too much I think. Seriously they skype when she is in the bedroom…and if she is dragged out by her friends to try and enjoy a normal life (going for lunch, shopping with her friends) she will be on phone THE WHOLE TIME. uwii!  I mean different strokes for different folks but I tend to think a little personal space is key. LDR is not forever, I mean what happens when you are finally living in the same town/ home as your SO? Won’t you suffocate?

Moving on..there are some good aspects of being in a relationship with someone from a different country. You get to travel and experience a different culture You also get to travel to places in your country you haven’t been too simply because they have heard about it.

Anyhu I have rambled on

I got engaged Won’t go into details but it was a lovely moment I will never forget…and it became official once our parents knew about it. I remember how nervous we were before he spoke to my dad..and formally asked for my hand. So yeah..the LDR may soon be coming to a close.

Haven’t started planning anything yet. I don’t want to get all hung up on the wedding day and forget the actual marriage that follows..but yeah..still excited about the day..nothing majorly fancy or ostentatious, just simple and private..shared with a few close ones.

Thinking about the dress is one of my favourite past-times now

ValFM:

• I wanna love like that- Tony Thompson
• Nice and lovely- Shaggy

So there I was on twirra…tweeting randomness as usual while I watched my usual night time cartoons when this tweet from one @ArcherMishale  caught my eye. ‘Tonight #Vitz owners have tethered their cars to the gate/telephone & elec poles/the neighbour’s Prado.”

Now I know guys have hated on Vitzses since time immemorial (this time being when Vitzses first showed up on Kenyan roads)…so I asked,  “@ArcherMishale What about owners of duets, runx, march etc? #vitzisacar“. Yeah needless to say I died of laughter from the insults that followed:

• “@Vaalentia Just let it drift away. With the insurance money, you can buy a real car! ”

• http://mwanamishale.wordpress.com/2007/11/15/driving-in-nairobi/

He was quickly followed by one @KevDaNative who tweeted, “@Vaalentia @ArcherMishale @a_kabari Are y’all defending duets? Don’t you need a tracker to find where you packed it?”

But yeah…I felt the need to defend my Duet driving self with the help of one of my beloveds @a_kabari.

This is Ellie.

Cute isn’t she?

I have to admit it wasn’t love at first sight (when I saw the car on the website) but yeah the minute she arrived home..I was in love! Have to admit my bff and I went through a phase when we wondered if I could fit my long legs (I’m about 5’8..which is not that tall…but not short either (for a girl I mean)..and yeah most of that is legs)..but considering the fact that dad drove it all the way from Mombasa (he’s taller than I am and didn’t complain), I knew I was good.

Now this is going to be a layman’s review of the Duet…and when I say layman, I mean a girl who only knows the basics about a car (not a car fanatic). I do admit I love Top Gear (meaning I love watching it when I catch it on tv..not the type who goes looking for sijui what obscure season of it). Now that we have cleared that up…lemme discuss the reasons why I love Miss Ellie (aka the Toyota Duet).

1. She is cute! I know there are some versions that are not pleasing to the eye (and please don’t ask me to start naming the year). I have to admit I have seen some unsightly Duets that have made me go “why?”…especially those in white. Then again I dislike any car that’s white so yeah..but I digress…Ellie is one cute car…and this has been confirmed by the friends who’ve seen me driving the car..whether it is their cup of tea or not.
2. Fuel consumption..enough said. I live for big SUVs…I’ve even been known to slow down just so I can stare at a Range Rover Sport (in black) that has just passed…but yeah until my bank balance is able to cough up the amount of money needed to maintain my future baby comfortably..I’m ok driving a car that doesn’t make me weep whenever I head to the petrol station…plus whenever I see someone at the petrol station driving a nice car (ok in this range I lump together the Ranges, Mercedes, BMWs, Prados and Audis etc) but topping up less than 500 bob..I wonder where exactly they are going…but I digress again..I can weka  300 bob and not get side eyed by the petrol attendant..
3. Parking spaces. This has got to be one of the benefits of driving a tiny car…I normally get random parking spaces in corners just because the car can fit in there and not block the way.. #win
4. 3 point turns are so much easier with a tiny car. I’m not claiming to be the world’s greatest driver..but I’m not bad either…but I have driven on occasion a Honda Odyssey. Now turning that car (which is the size of a mini van) is work and a half…but with little Miss Ellie…I can turn and be secure that I’m not going to cough up money to fix some car that I just scratched trying to get out of a tight parking space.
5. A car is a car….seriously..as one who has complained about matatus (taxis or whatever you want to call them) a car is a blessing. Seriously! Especially if you live in the back of the beyond and have to take at least 2 matatus..plus a lengthy walk only to connect to another mat…meh. A car is awesome! #thatisall
6. I know there are some drivers (side eyeing all those who have these tabias) of not giving way or trying to bully me off the road just because I’m driving a little car. Yeah that hasn’t worked…all it has done is give me matatu type behaviour on the road. Seriously I really get worked up when some idiot of a driver in a huge car (or a mat driver) tries to cut me off and they think I will give way. Think again..especially when I know you are on the wrong..I will will you to hit me (ok except a mat because yeah)..but a car? Jaribu…seriously I’d love for you to explain just what you were doing..
7. Plus there is nothing wrong with driving a tiny car and longing/ dreaming or scheming for a bigger/ better one. I mean seriously..half of us (even those who drive “acceptable” cars) still have their dream car that they would drive given half the chance (or a bigger bank balance).

Have to say I side eye guys who drive tiny cars..I don’t know why I’m sexist when it comes to cars but yeah a guy driving a pink Vitz or Duet will get a serious side eye from me. But at the end of the day, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Plus I have to disagree with all the points Archer makes about a lady’s bedroom habits if she drives a Duet (that is all I have to say on that issue).

ValFM:

• Since I fell for you- Nina Simone
• Do what I gotta do- John Legend

I’m all mellow now..but earlier today I kept feeling my little demon poking out behind my left shoulder. The lil demon that makes me spew sarcastic and hurtful comments. I felt it..and I’m happy to say I conquered it! Today at least.

Moving on..babies require a lot of time! A lot! I’m not saying this like this is something I have recently discovered..but this was driven home to me last week. I mean simple things like travelling to the store, sleep-overs at your brother’s or friend’s house is an exercise in itself. You have to travel with half your household contents..and this is just for the baby! From the baby clothes, baby’s dishes, baby bath and related stuff..you have practically filled a boot..and this is just for the baby! You are lucky if you remember to carry your own essentials..eh! I am not ready…

Feeding time..playing time..soothing time…sleeping (and waking..and sleeping and waking) time..I am not ready..I know people say that when its YOUR baby its different and you will know and want to do all this stuff…but yeah, I am not ready! Plus I was told that for some women, pregnancy changes you into the crazy woman. The woman who insists your man does not love you anymore and does not want to hang out with you because you are pregnant…the crazy woman who sends her man in the dead of the night to buy her food from a place 30 minutes away…the woman who cries for no reason…yes that woman. Apparently these hormones disappear a month after you give birth…Eh I am not ready…seriously! PMS already turns me into an emotional wreck..adding a baby to that mix..uwi!

Crazing missing…. may have or have not contributed to today’s crazy #thatisall

ValFM:

• Say yeah- Jay Sean ft Lupe Fiasco
• Kawa- Lilian
• 1+1- Beyonce
• Hey there- Rosemary Clooney